Daniel Fast: Day 3

I was at Costco this evening doing my regular monthly shopping in addition to buying specific foods for my fast. As I was there I was mentally planning how I was going to eat and what I was going to do with the various items I was buying. I found myself fully focused on the food aspect of my fast, and once again lacking on the spiritual aspect. I don't know why that happens. I really want to do this to grow closer to God but find myself being busy thinking about the food aspect. I'm really glad I'm doing this for three weeks instead of three days because I think I'm really going to need the time to discipline myself spiritually.

I have discovered, though, that even when I don't think I'm spiritually connected to God, he's still connected to me and trying to communicate with me. Twice today, He opened my eyes and mind to things that I believe he's been trying to show me. It started at my monthly staff meeting during which my pastor shared a little bit more about the fast and then encouraged us to be specific about why we're fasting and what are we asking God for. He said we should be looking in three areas, ourselves, our families, and our community. As he's speaking I feel (?) hear (?) discover (?) that what God wants from me is to LET GO!!! Let go of my fear and fully place my trust in Him. This is in many areas of my life, but I feel the Lord really telling me trust Him with my children. I think that as we've gotten closer and closer to permanancy, I've been more and more afraid of losing them. I have horrific thoughts of the many 'what if' scenarios and I'm more and more anxious about it. And in my meeting while I'm sharing this I'm near tears because I realize that this is it. This is what I have to focus on and work on and ask for help from God with.

So I was feeling pretty good about this...revelation of sorts, when I was showed another one. While I was in Costco a woman came up to me and said "Hi Micaela." I didn't immediately recognize her, but responded with a friendly hello. It turns out we worked together quite a few years ago. She asked how I was and we went through the general friendly how are you, etc. All this occured in a minute or two. We didn't really talk about what I was doing now a days, other than for me to say I was doing well. As she turned to walk away she stopped and said to me, "You're lucky to be where you are now." Not so much I was lucky not to be back at my old job (although that was part of it too) but truly that I was lucky to be exactly where I'm at right now. My job, my home, the kids, relationally, etc. I am EXACTLY where God wants me to be. It was such a comfort for me to hear this and to sense this was truly what God was trying to show me and has been trying to show me. I know I've been questioning Him and doubting, but wow! I heard it today. It has really soothed my spirit. And I know that I am only able to discover these things and hear these things from God because I am taking steps to listen to Him and seek Him. And although I don't feel like I'm doing all the right things spiritually, God knows my heart and wants me to be encouraged anyway. I'm so excited!